I’m back in KL once more, and just came back from a field trip organized by our lecturer. Let’s not talk about that trip because it sucked ass.

Today, I would like to post a little of my personal self. Some may not know it but I’m very negative and pessimistic. Of course it’s not an uncommon thing for me to receive comments that I’m very sarcastic at times. It’s something which I can’t actively change myself as the environment which I grew up in were constantly filled with false hopes and such. This would be the main contribution to my high sensitivity towards those who break up or alter their plans last minute or fail to deliver what they’ve promised earlier on.

It’s because of all these people never failed to cause despair in me that I grew to constantly expect the worst out of everything and everyone, just to cushion the hurt of having my hopes crushed again and again, yet things like these still happen until now.

All these contributes to my sense of spite, distrust and emotionlessness.

Dear diary, I’m pissed, under a pretty heavy amount of pressure (even more than my days in designing company) and I have alot of assignments  even during the so-called ‘exploration’ week of TOA. My good ol’ design figure studies lecturer dumped us with 8 portraits to be completed in 2 weeks. This is just for ONE subject. I’m shuddering from the thoughts of others. Meh

—RANT ALERT!!!—

Just got back home in Penang. I’m fucking tired, fucking dazed and all that fucking shit and I’m not in the mood for happy stuffs. I had to rush to college to purchase art supplies in the break of dawn to finish my assignments, rush to purchase bus tickets, rush back to college to catch my first class, rush while having a light lunch (while running to my next class and got choked on the way), rushed for my mid-term exams, rush back to my house with art supplies, rushed back to sunway pyramid with luggage to catch taxi and rushed to one utama to catch my bus which was already leaving. And to top it off, For the past week I had so many assignments during those time that my average sleeping time never exceeded 4 fucking hours and I didnt even have time for meals and breads which was purchased beforehand was the subtitue for my meals. Alot of shit happened in my life as well which I don’t even bother saying it out anymore due to the MAJOR lashback it’ll cause. I’ll just keep all these fucking shit to myself and suffer till I grow old and die, or a premature death. Either way, life can just suck balls and eat my shit. I AM NOT EVEN COMPLAINING ABOUT THE HARDSHIPS I’M GOING THROUGH WITH ANYONE. NOBODY KNOWS MY SUFFERING BECAUSE THEY D Perhaps not until now. Say what? I have to fucking suck it all up and take it like a man just because I’m one? FINE ONE DAY I’LL DIE OF NERVOUS BREAKDOWN OR HEARTATTACK, DON’T COME AND FUCKING BLAME ME FOR NOT DOING SHIT. IF YOU THINK I’M WHINING THEN FUCK YOU.

—END OF RANT—

Phew, anyways I’m sorry if I accidentally deleted any message you’ve posted here. My blog has been receiving astronomical amounts of spam, its not even funny anymore. I just realised that after I accidentally deleted a ‘valid’ posting from someone I know D:

I’ll be more careful and thorough in checking my replies from now onwards. This is kevynster reporting from his 2 days stay in Penang, so stay tuned. m(_ _)m

On a side note, my IELTS lecturer just commented on my written assignment which includes a report and short essay. She said my level is already at band 8.5 :DDDDDDDD fyi IELTS’ highest band is 9. Aweseomesauce!

“Every single human out there is tainted with hypocrisy, including me. The worst are those who do not realise that they are one too.”

Another Gackt video from youtube, this time it’s Secret Garden, of course with english subs. This has been my all time favourite from his songs thus far. I can somehow relate to its melody and lyrics. Anyway, MV kinda sucks.

On a side note, I wish I could overload my course.

For every effect, there’s always a cause. Think before complaining.

Kinda bored here. I’m thinking of picking up new hobbies, personal projects and such. One would be a doujin group, several indoor sports and perhaps some involvement in events as well. Anything as long as it takes me off from worrying, bothering, and idling.